Obituaries

Kirk Hobbs
B: 1962-05-03
D: 2021-03-15
View Details
Hobbs, Kirk
Evelyn Drake
B: 1936-11-09
D: 2021-03-15
View Details
Drake, Evelyn
Joanne Demers
B: 1930-06-15
D: 2021-03-10
View Details
Demers, Joanne
Robert Gilbert
B: 1955-10-18
D: 2021-03-07
View Details
Gilbert, Robert
Lawrence Sharun
B: 1934-07-04
D: 2021-03-07
View Details
Sharun, Lawrence
Michael Podolecki
B: 1939-03-31
D: 2021-03-02
View Details
Podolecki, Michael
Irene Axani
B: 1926-03-02
D: 2021-02-27
View Details
Axani, Irene
Joanne Gill
B: 1959-04-02
D: 2021-02-26
View Details
Gill, Joanne
Christine Moskalyk
B: 1950-09-24
D: 2021-02-25
View Details
Moskalyk, Christine
Brian Butler
B: 1964-11-09
D: 2021-02-25
View Details
Butler, Brian
Carolynn Erickson
B: 1948-06-26
D: 2021-02-23
View Details
Erickson, Carolynn
Peggy Kearney
B: 1940-08-06
D: 2021-02-19
View Details
Kearney, Peggy
Agnes Klassen
B: 1926-07-02
D: 2021-02-18
View Details
Klassen, Agnes
William Baker
B: 1958-11-27
D: 2021-02-17
View Details
Baker, William
Doris Richardson
B: 1934-10-10
D: 2021-02-12
View Details
Richardson, Doris
Ethel Myhre
B: 1921-02-25
D: 2021-02-12
View Details
Myhre, Ethel
Diane Yettaw
B: 1952-09-27
D: 2021-02-10
View Details
Yettaw, Diane
Eva Ganske
B: 1940-04-24
D: 2021-02-09
View Details
Ganske, Eva
Raymond Turner
B: 1938-12-13
D: 2021-02-08
View Details
Turner, Raymond
Donald Sims
B: 1946-12-05
D: 2021-02-06
View Details
Sims, Donald
Perry Holbrook
B: 1933-12-14
D: 2021-02-05
View Details
Holbrook, Perry

Search

Use the form above to find your loved one. You can search using the name of your loved one, or any family name for current or past services entrusted to our firm.

Click here to view all obituaries
Search Obituaries
5201 Lakeshore Drive
Bonnyville, AB T9N 1X7
Phone: (780) 826-3113
Fax: (780) 826-3400

Ending Denial and Finding Acceptance

Acceptance is the very first task in your bereavement. Dr. James Worden writes that we must "come full face with the reality that the person is dead, that the person is gone and will not return."

This is where a funeral can be very important. Traditionally, the casketed body of the deceased is at the front of the room and guests are invited to step up to personally say their goodbyes. Part of stepping up means seeing with our own eyes that death has actually occurred and that actualizing is an essential part of coming to accept the death. Yet, the tradition of viewing has eroded over time with many families today choosing cremation and opting to hold a memorial service after the cremation has taken place. The focal point of the ceremony becomes the cremation urn, holding the cremated remains or ashes out-of-sight and making the reality of the death less evident and the road to acceptance less clearly marked.

Acceptance May Seem Out-of-Reach

For many, acceptance means agreeing to reality. Most of us, when we lose someone dear to us, simply don't want to agree to it; we actually have an aversion to agreeing and accepting. So, let's use a different word - try adjustment, or integration. Both words focus on the purposeful release of disbelief. Someone who has integrated the death of a loved one into their life has cleared the path to creating a new life; a pro-active life where a loved one's memory is held dear, perhaps as a motivating force for change.

It does take time. In Coping with the Loss of a Loved One, the American Cancer Society cautions readers that "acceptance does not happen overnight. It’s common for it to take a year or longer to resolve the emotional and life changes that come with the death of a loved one. The pain may become less intense, but it’s normal to feel emotionally involved with the deceased for many years after their death. In time, the person should be able to reclaim the emotional energy that was invested in the relationship with the deceased, and use it in other relationships." 

Whatever you call it, this essential part of mourning is what allows us to live fully again. It allows us to step out of the darkness of mere existence and back into the sunshine where life is sweet again. Of course, it's a very different life than the one you had before your loved one died.

Sources:
Worden, James, Grief Counseling & Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner, 4th Edition, 2009.

American Cancer Society, "Coping with the Loss of a Loved One", 2012